March is a complicated month for me 😓

March marks the official beginning of spring, my absolute favorite season.

The plants start waking up, the days are getting longer, the color green is returning, and the sounds and sights of birds, insects, and other critters are increasing.

One of my many mental health disorders/neurodivergences is bipolar disorder. Because of this, my mood and energy levels change drastically with the seasons.

I’m sure this was quite useful to my pre-industrialization Ancestors. However, in 2024, it doesn’t quite translate as a practical system.

But spring has always been when I feel the best - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

However, spring became a bit darker for me five years ago.

On March 30th, 2019, my dad went to the emergency room with stroke-like symptoms and the “worst headache of his life.” Turns out he had an aneurysm leaking blood into his brain.

This event turned my whole family’s lives upside down.

I quit my super toxic office job to spend time at the hospital with my family.

The following months were traumatic, to say the least.

My dad spent a month in the ICU where he was on a ventilator for most of that time, followed by a specialty hospital, followed by a nursing home, until he finally came home for my mom to become his caregiver after about 6 months.

In a single day, my dad went from being an independent burley man (he was 6’5” and at the time well over 350 lbs) to being unable to stand, speak coherently, use a toilet, read, etc.

Because of how individualized brains are, the doctors couldn’t give us any answers about what the future would hold.

As I drove back and forth from the hospital every day, my surroundings were getting greener and spring was in the air.

While I was enduring this nonstop trauma, I found a lot of peace and therapeutic value in my garden. It was one of the only distractions that actually made me feel a little better.

And this made me realize that my ultimate place on Earth is with the plants.

It was something I always knew in my heart, but being faced with such intense challenges made me realize that I also want to make a real tangible difference in the world.

So I went to graduate school starting that August to make a total 180 degree career change - from a Bachelor of Fine Arts to a Master of Science. And eventually, Native Yardening was born.

For the past few years, my family has gathered on March 30th, the anniversary of my dad’s aneurysm, to celebrate him as a survivor.

Unfortunately, my dad died unexpectedly this past November. So as March 30th is just a few weeks away, I don’t think we’ll be celebrating anything.

While the month of March always initiates me exiting hibernation mode (aka seasonal depression) and perking back up just like the trees and flowers, it now also brings with it a heavy grief, flashbacks, questions of where the time has gone, and many other complicated emotions.

But my garden, my plant nursery, the bees and butterflies and birds and frogs keep me going.

So as we begin entering springtime, I hope that your garden brings you some joy in a world that has a lot of darkness.

Whether you’re experiencing personal hardships, collective hardships of witnessing genocide in Palestine, living through an ongoing pandemic, global wars, the climate crisis, etc., or all of the above - remember that connecting with the Earth is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

Happy gardening, and I hope you’re well.